I bet you saw this one coming, right? I know you know about the ‘bean’ but I am going to make you cliterate anyway because it’s possible that what you know is just the tip, literally, and we do not work on assumptions here. I need to make sure that we are all on the same page!
So if you have ever done biology in your life, you probably know that the male and female reproductive organs develop from the same tissue and remain undifferentiated for some part of your life as a foetus. Put simply, the male and female genitals are more or less the same, just structured differently. Confused? Let me clear things up for you…
Let’s get some terminology out of the way. If you have a vulva, I suggest you grab a mirror and have a look.
It is very important to get the terminology right to understand exactly how this beautifully designed part of your body works. Have you got that mirror with you? Experts advise we have a good look at our vulvas to get used to our own normal so that we can be the first to notice any sudden changes and ring our doctors if necessary.
The female reproductive system is made up of external and internal genitals. What you see is the external bit or what we inaccurately call the vagina. The infamous G-spot, vagina, cervix, and up to the ovaries, make up the internal bit. The correct term to use to describe the external genitalia is ‘vulva’, and it consists of the mons pubis, the first thing you see, a fatty tissue over the pubic bone covered with pubic hair. The mons pubis then splits into two lips, the labia majora (also containing pubic hair), and extends down and around the mostly hairless inner, smaller lips/folds – labia minora (hello, scrotum!) – which in turn cover a space called the vestibule. The vestibule consists of the vaginal opening and the much smaller urethral ‘dot’ opening, through which urine passes. The labia minora fuse at the top to form the hood of the clitoris. The clitoris, which we will discuss in a sec, is found under this hood.
The not so known clitoris!
What you see and what most textbooks show is the glans/tip/head of the clitoris, homologous to the tip of the penis. The hood of the clitoris – I hate to break it to you, sweethearts – is our foreskin. Now while gently sliding the hood back to expose the clitoral head, you should feel what is described in Our Bodies Ourselves as a “hardish, rubbery, movable rod” under the skin leading into your pubic bone. This is is the body/shaft of the clitoris, homologous to that of the penis, and it is about 2-4cm long. You can’t feel the rest of the clitoris but that does not mean these parts are not worth knowing; they are just as important as the glans in sexual pleasure.
The shaft of the clitoris continues to split into paired crura (‘legs’ or ‘wings’) which attach to the pelvic bones, each 5-9cm long, on average! From where the shaft and crura meet extends a mass of erectile tissue called the bulbs of the vestibule/vestibular bulbs. They are called vestibular bulbs because they look like bulbs and span the sides of the vestibule. They bulge out when aroused, causing the labia to swell and create immense pleasure. Now the only thing I’m interested in you taking away from this post is this: the clitoris (glans, shaft, and crura) and the vestibular bulbs are the ONLY organs in the body solely for sexual arousal and pleasure. It is for your own benefit to know where they are and how to stimulate them!
The ‘extras’ that complete the erectile circuit, are the perineal sponge (in the small area between the vaginal and anal openings) and the G-spot.
What is this G-spot and where is it?
The existence of the G-spot has been a hot topic of debate for many years. It remains elusive to those who have never found it but let me tell you, it does exist.
“Women’s sexuality has a long history of being discounted, misunderstood, misrepresented, medicalized, or left out of the picture (and research studies and textbooks) altogether. Beginning in the late 1800s, vaginal intercourse was lauded as the best way for women to experience pleasure and orgasm, yet little was known about how or why.” – Tristan Taormino
A German gynaecologist named Ernest Grafenberg in his paper, “The Role of Urethra in Female Orgasm (1950),” wrote about erectile tissue surrounding the urethra which swells when stimulated. He also observed that some women expelled fluid that wasn’t urine from the urethra at the moment of orgasm.
In 1980, The G-spot: And Other Discoveries About Human Sexuality by Alice Kahn Ladas, et al., named an area inside and on the front of the vagina that was very sensitive to deep pressure the Grafenberg Spot (‘G-spot’) in honor of the gynaecologist.
So, where exactly is it and how do I find it?
The urethral opening is a terminal part of an internal tube (the urethra) that leads to the bladder, and it is surrounded by spongy erectile tissue called the paraurethral tissue. This erectile tissue can be felt through the front wall (or roof) of the vagina about 2.5-5cm inside the vaginal opening. This is the infamous G-spot or, more accurately, the ‘G-spot area’ because it is not a specific spot that can be pinpointed at any given moment. It is best felt when a woman is already aroused because the erectile tissue swells, becomes more prominent, and much more sensitive. Part of the reason it remains illusive to some people is that they try to find it when they’re not yet aroused, and this can be frustrating and exhausting. My tip: warm up really well and only have direct stimulation of the G-spot area when you’re insanely hot and horny, it’ll be easier to find!
Now, not everyone will necessarily enjoy G-spot area stimulation because the vagina cannot be standardized, and so pleasure cannot be standardized. Some women’s vaginas are more sensitive than others, and that’s completely normal. Erotic zones vary from woman to woman and this is why self-play is important; if you do not know what works for you, where you feel the most pleasure, the amount of pressure you require to be adequately stimulated, you’ll end up having sex just for the sake of it. There’s really no point then.
This brings us to the end of today’s post. I hope you found it informative and helpful. I have decided to reserve some very useful tips on how to optimise sex for subscribers. So if you have not subscribed yet, please do so below and be on the lookout for weekly juicy tips! The first week’s special will be on techniques you can try to stimulate the erotic circuit and maximise your pleasure (it’s more than just ‘flicking the bean’). Don’t forget to keep in touch, either via email or social media (see Home page for the links). Alternatively, leave a comment below. Thank you so much for your 5 minutes. Please stay safe and spread the love!